


Idle Hands

by junko



Series: Chasing Demons [35]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Humor, M/M, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-25
Updated: 2013-01-25
Packaged: 2017-11-26 19:42:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/653751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junko/pseuds/junko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Renji and Byakuya leave Ukitake's place, and Renji attempts drunken shunpou....</p>
            </blockquote>





	Idle Hands

**Author's Note:**

> Posted this and forgot to tag it as part of the series.... okay! Fixed!

Renji leaned heavily against Byakuya as they made their way down the streets of the Seireitei. Anger at Captain Kyōraku and the cool night air did a lot to sober Renji up, but his limbs still felt clumsy and thick. 

Byakuya had been quiet for several blocks. Likewise, Renji had run out of steam and colorful descriptions of his opinion of being painted a victim by a pair of meddling old captains he’d previously considered allies. Glancing over at the hard cast of Byakuya’s face in the cool moonlight, Renji muttered one final, “The nerve, huh?”

“Hmmm. Indeed,” Byakuya agreed distractedly. “You’ve been idle too long, I think, Renji.”

Renji instantly understood the implication of Byakuya’s admonishment. _Yeah,_ he thought, stumbling drunk two nights in a row had to be a new record since coming up out of the Eleventh. Not exactly living up to the whole ‘Noble Reason’ ideal, was he? 

“I’m sorry, sir,” he said as contritely as he could while slurring his words and clinging to Byakuya’s shoulders. “I was trying to watch myself, I swear.”

Byakuya pursed his lips disapprovingly. “Do you think you’ve walked it off enough to try shunpō? I would like to return to the estate before sun-up.”

“Sure,” Renji said confidently with a wild grin. “But, if I were you, I wouldn’t be too close to me when I do.”

“Let’s try a short distance first,” Byakuya suggested, untangling himself from Renji’s arm. 

Renji tried not to groan or to look obviously disappointed as the warmth of Byakuya’s body left his side. Renji loved the feeling of Byakuya’s shoulder snug under his armpit—an exact fit, perfect--like two pieces of a puzzle locked together. Renji could have spent the whole evening walking like that. There was no one to see them, either. All the shops and tradesmen’s houses were shuttered up tightly for the night. 

But Byakuya was clearly anxious to be on their way. He’d been upset from the moment he’d burst in to Ukitake’s Ugendō Quarters and found Renji with the captains. Things hadn’t improved much, either. Kyōraku seemed determined to press all of Byakuya’s buttons. And, Renji knew he hadn’t helped matters by being so sloshed and getting a bit too frisky in public. He had a dim recollection of nearly getting his face slapped for it. 

Speaking of, Byakuya’s expression had been hard as stone since Ukitake extracted that ridiculous promise from him.

Not a night to hope to get lucky then, Renji figured.

“Why don’t you go ahead?” Renji said, with a sloppy, dismissive wave of his hand. “I’ll do better if I’m not worried about slowing you down.”

The relief in Byakuya’s response was obvious. “You’re sure?”

“Yeah, totally,” Renji said with a smile. He really wanted to lean in for a kiss, but he knew better than that. So, instead, he said, “I’ll see you back there, huh?”

A curt nod was the last thing Renji saw before Byakuya became nothing more than a blur. As Renji watched Byakuya leave, he couldn’t help the swell of admiration that rose in his heart. Damn, that man was fast. It was hard to believe anyone could beat him.

Renji was so proud to be part of the Sixth, finally, to serve under someone so amazing, so… fucking invincible. Not unlike Kenpachi, really, but with more… style. It broke his heart to think of what a disappointment he must be to Byakuya on nights like tonight.

Zabimaru rattled out a hiss at his side. _Never forget: we brought him to one knee._

“Yeah, but I don’t want to bring him down anymore,” Renji said. “I want to lift him up.”

If Zabimaru had a comment on that, they kept it to themselves.

“Okay,” Renji said, straightening his shihakushô, and taking in a long, steadying breath of air. “Let’s do this.”

The first flashstep went pretty well, all things considered. He rolled through the stumble at the end. Even though he ended up flat on his back in the middle of the street, he hadn’t crashed into anything or broken any bones. 

Staring up at the starry night, Renji gave himself the fist pump of victory. “Boo-yah,” he added for good measure.

As he picked himself up and brushed dust off his ass, Renji tried to figure out how far he’d come. Automatic pilot had brought him within a stone’s throw of the front gate of the Eleventh Division’s barracks. If this were still home, he’d have made it. He half considered bribing the guard to let him crash there for the night, or even scooting under makeshift tunnel Yachiru had dug for herself near the latrines—if it was still there, and if he could get his shoulders through it….

But how pissed off would Byakuya be to find him AWOL and overnighting at his old regiment?

“Pretty fucking pissed off,” Renji answered himself.

Right, he thought, with one last slap of road grit from his uniform, now the only challenge was remembering which direction the Sixth was from here. Renji could see the roof of the mess hall where he and Ikkaku would sometimes sit, late into the night, talking fighting techniques or just relaxing after a long training session. Ikkaku would always point up the hill and remind him, ‘There,’ he’d say, ‘There’s your target.’

“Then you’d always say, ‘Not as far away as it looks.’” Renji continued the conversation out loud. “Except when I’d sucked it up that day, then you’d say, ‘Objects on a hill are further than they appear.’”

Renji wished Ikkaku would entertain the idea of a captaincy. He’d been a surprisingly good teacher, considering how little tolerance he had for weakness. He had a crazy temper that was easy to set off into the screeching range, but Renji always knew when he’d really screwed up, because Ikkaku would get silent and just walk away, like he couldn’t even be bothered to get worked up over your sorry ass. Best motivation ever, that was--struggling to be worthy of getting smacked upside the head again.

Kind of prepared him for Byakuya, in a way.

Trying to catch Byakuya’s attention was like trying to grab hold of a shooting star. You’d stretch towards the sky, only to discover it was an illusion--always out of reach, an impossible distance.

Yet somehow, Renji had managed it.

“Yeah, a goddamn miracle,” he chided himself, “But can I make it up the hill without killing myself?”

“Are you talking to yourself or to Fang Tooth?” The tiny little voice at his elbow made Renji jump. Thanks to unsteady feet, he nearly face-planted in the street again, but managed to catch himself on one knee. 

From his position on the ground, he looked over, directly into the smiling face of Yachiru Kusajishi. Her pink bob had a silver-tint in the moonlight. He resisted the urge to ruffle her hair, and instead asked, “Aren’t you up a little late, lieutenant?”

She smiled at him, and poked him on the nose with a tiny finger, “Aren’t you a little drunk, lieutenant?”

“Yeah,” Renji admitted, his eyes having crossed trying to follow her finger. He let himself collapse, cross-legged, in the street. “I am, at that.”

Yachiru giggled. Then she threw her arms around Renji’s neck and gave him a big squeeze that nearly choked the air from him, “We miss you, Renji!”

It always astonished Renji that he appeared to be the one and only exception to Yachiru’s nicknaming game. Zabimaru got called any number of things from “Fang Tooth,” to “Tail Whip” to “Dog’s Bite,” or whatever else struck her fancy at the moment, but, for some reason known only to her, he was always just Renji. 

Even though Yumichika tried to tell him it was because Yachiru liked Zabimaru better, he’d always been grateful to only be Renji to her. From the moment he’d been transferred in, he was sure he was going to end up with some combination of ‘red’ or dog.’ But, because she never went there, no one else dared.

“I miss you guys, too,” Renji said once she released him. “My feet took me here. I guess some part of me still thinks I belong here.”

Her bright smile crumpled and she wagged a finger at him. “Nuh-huh! You have to stay with Bya-boo now. He’s so much nicer now that he has a real friend.”

 _Bya-boo?_ Holy crap, that was hilarious. “Yeah,” Renji agreed, pulling himself up. “I was just trying to remember which way would take me back there.”

“Oh! I know,” she trilled, and, after dancing around a bit, pointed in the complete opposite direction than the one he’d thought. “That way!”

“Uh, right, thanks,” Renji said, rubbing the back of his neck, and glancing up the hill. “Say ‘hello’ to all the guys for me, would you? I should probably get going.”

She waved over her shoulder. In a second, she’d flashed up to perch on the wall to watch him go. She pointed again, in what he was sure was the wrong direction, and nodded like he should make his move. He’d been hoping she’d leave before he had to go. If he’d been more sober, he’d have pretended to go in that direction first, but Renji knew that in the state he was in he couldn’t waste any effort. So, he mouthed ‘sorry’ and took off up the hill.

And… promptly crashed headlong into a wall--AFTER having bounced off a porch step, careened over three rooftops, and skidded on his chin for three blocks.

“Ow. Ow. Ow,” he whined, rubbing the blood from his face. His feet stuck straight up on the wall. He’d hit as such high speed, Renji was sure there was an Abarai-ass-shaped dent in the wall.

He lay there for a long time, wondering if he’d covered any real distance at all. He was considering just closing his eyes and resting up a bit, maybe even until morning, when he heard Yachiru say, “I think I broke him a little, Bya-chan. I’m sorry. But it’s his fault for going the wrong way; I showed him where you were.”

Renji cracked open an eye to see Yachiru’s wide eyes staring with deep concern into his face. She was holding Byakuya’s hand. Byakuya, meanwhile, seemed to trying very hard not to smile. “Are you quite all right, lieutenant?” he asked. “That was a monumental skid. Possibly even ‘legendary.’”

Renji chuckled. “Ah, this ain’t nothing.”

“It does look like you could use a hand up, however,” Byakuya offered, holding out his. 

Yachiru got a serious expression her face and offered hers as well.

Renji took hold of them both, and, together, they managed to unwedge him from the crater his butt had made. After he’d brushed himself off and checked for serious injury, Renji stood behind where Byakuya examined the wall. “I think you did more damage to it, than it did to you.” Byakuya said. “We shall have to make our apologies to the Fifth in the morning.”

The Fifth? Bloody hell, Renji had been going the wrong way!

“We appreciate you coming to our lieutenant’s rescue, Yachiru,” Byakuya said sweetly. He was still crouched down and he tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and smoothed out her hair. Renji had never seen Byakuya like this, so _paternal_ , and it made Renji’s heart stings do all sorts of funky twists and tugs. Byakuya laid both his hands gently on Yachiru’s shoulders, and said very seriously, “You’ll come by in the morning? We can play with my beigoma.”

She clapped her hands together, and kissed Byakuya on the forehead. “Oh boy! Spinning tops! Will you let me have the one marked cherry?”

Byakuya actually looked like he might say ‘no.’ Instead, he pulled himself up to his feet, “Perhaps. We shall have to see. You have done us a great favor, after all. Now run along home, or we’ll soon have Zaraki to deal with.”

She reached up and squeezed his hand. “Okay, see you tomorrow. Bya-Bya!”

Renji was pretty sure he was smirking at that since it sounded like ‘bye-ya, bye-ya.”

Byakuya, however, waved a sad good-bye to Yachiru, and the look in his eyes made Renji think, that if he could have, he’d have wrapped her up in his arms and taken her home to the estate. She giggled and flashed away.

“You really care about her, huh?” Renji noted.

“You’re dripping blood on your uniform,” was Byakuya’s response. “You’ll have to have that seen to.”

Ah, so the topic of his affection for the little lieutenant was off limits, eh? Renji flashed Byakuya a knowing grin and said, “Yes, sir.”

Byakuya was still staring off in the direction Yachiru had disappeared. He sighed. “It’s a shame she’s surrounded by such barbarians.”

Renji snorted a laugh. “Yeah, well, you can thank this barbarian for teaching her to read and write.”

“What? But, I thought, I--”

“You ain’t the only one looking after her, you know,” Renji said, checking his chin again. It seemed to have mostly stopped bleeding. “I didn't teach her much. It was just that she used to hang out in the office with me when I was doing the Eleventh’s paperwork,” Renji explained when Byakuya continued to look at him curiously. “’Course, it was her office. At any rate, she used to sit and pretend to do what I was doing. So, I taught her some basics, like how to sign her mark, so she could help out for real.”

“Renji, that’s… extraordinarily thoughtful of you.”

“Don’t look so shocked,” Renji said, checking the scrape on his elbow. “I do have my moments. Plus, I like little kids. And, you know, Yachiru is special.”

Byakuya nodded solemnly, “Yes, I do know.”

Renji wondered what Byakuya was thinking at that moment. He waited, hoping Byakuya might say. Instead, he shook himself out, and turned to regard Renji again.

“Are you in any shape to make it back? Or will we have to depend on the kindness of the Fifth?”

“How do you mean?” Renji asked.

“There is a captain and lieutenant’s quarters vacancy there,” Byakuya noted.

“Sleep in Azien’s bed?” Renji could feel the blood draining from his face at the thought, “Or… Momo’s?”

“Why not?” Byakuya asked, “It maybe our only choice given your condition. Besides, I don’t think I can afford the damage you might do to the Seireitei if you attempt another flash step.”

Renji laughed, rubbing his bruised and sore ass, “Yeah, probably not.”

#

Remarkably, the exhausted-looking Third at the Fifth let them in without even a word of protest. In fact, she seemed grateful to be of assistance. “We’ll send up a medic presently,” she offered, holding up a lantern to look at Renji’s face. She glanced at Byakuya, her eyes riveted to the kenseikan, and then she made a very deep bow, “I doubt we have anything suitable for someone of your stature, sir, but you’re welcome to the captain’s quarters.”

“That would be more than sufficient,” Byakuya said with a slight glance at Renji as if to say ‘I told you so.’ “Thank you.”

To Renji she said, “I’m afraid our lieutenant has been convalescing here. I can find a bed roll for you, sir. Or…uh, there’s plenty of space in the unseated quarters.”

Renji instantly understood the source of her embarrassment. She didn’t think it necessarily unseemly to offer him such lowly quarters, but she was ashamed that there was so much room thanks to the number of transfer requests that had emptied her division after Aizen’s defection. Renji was about to say he didn’t care where she stuck him as long as he wasn’t in anyone’s way when Byakuya surprised them both by clearing his throat and announcing, “The lieutenant can stay with me.”

“But, sir,” the Third protested. “Captain Aizen—I mean, the former captain’s quarters is much smaller than anything you’re used to, I’m sure. There’s no room for an extra mattress. You’d have to share the bed.”

“I’m sure we can rough it for one evening,” Byakuya said coolly, as though that were the end of the discussion. Just to make it extra clear, he said, “We’ve imposed enough on your hospitality, Third Seat.”

“Yes, sir,” she said, and with a deep bow she excused herself to fetch the medic.

“Are you sure about this,” Renji asked, once she’d scurried off. “I mean, aren’t you worried what people will say?”

“They’re going to be talking much more about the circumstances that brought us here than our sleeping arrangements,” Byakuya noted. “I’m sure your drunken shunpō will become quite legendary outside of Academy as well.”

Renji dipped his head. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right. I shouldn’t have left you to your own devices,” Byakuya said, surprising Renji again by the good humor in his tone. “I’m glad you’re not seriously injured. Besides, I should think the Fifth will pleased to have gossip around the Seireitei not involving their former captain for a while.”

“Huh.” Something about what Byakuya said gave Renji an idea, “You know what we all need? A division-level futsal competition.”

“Fustal?” Byakuya sighed. He’d been standing while the Third talked to them in the cramped office, but now he came over to perch on the edge of the desk near the stool Renji sat on. “Must it always be fustal with you?”

“Well, why not?” Renji insisted. “But, okay, fine. It doesn’t have to be futsal. I know Captain Histugaya likes soccer. We could all play that.”

Byakuya actually seemed to be considering it. “You know, you may be on to something, Renji. It would be nice to see people cheering for each other. It might even be good to mix things up. Make it inter-divisional, or maybe even men against women.”

“Fuck no! We’d get our asses kicked,” Renji said.

The medic had, of course, chosen that moment to appear in the doorway and he nearly took a jump back at the vehemence in Renji’s voice. 

Byakuya actually laughed lightly, as he stood up. He explained, “We were discussing the idea of a Gotei soccer tournament.”

“Oh!” The medic brightened. “I love soccer. We play a little in the Fourth. When would this be? I’d love to sign up.”

“It will happen as soon as Renji organizes it,” Byakuya explained, showing the medic his patient with a broad gesture at where Renji sat.

“Wait? Me? Organize it?”

The medic came over to inspect Renji’s road rash. “What did you do? Skid on your face, sir?”

“That’s exactly what happened,” Byakuya said in a tone Renji would describe as nearly gleeful. Then, to Renji he said, “Of course you’ll organize it. You’re generally well-liked, and good at this sort of interpersonal bonding thing. You may have access to my private accounts for whatever equipment you might need. We can even see about finding a spot in the estate to hold it. Though, perhaps if we can make up with Ukitake, we could use that unused practice space he has in the back at the Thirteenth. It’s an old quarry, I think, but the grass around it is like a natural stadium. People could picnic.”

Apparently, this was already happening in Byakuya’s mind, Renji thought with a grumble and a wince as the medic extracted some grit from his chin. So, in between getting poked, he tried to take mental notes on Byakuya’s vision of the event. Renji groused, “I still say it should be futsal.”

“No one but you plays that, Renji.”

“It’s not that hard to learn,” he muttered as the medic slapped antiseptic on his chin and he had to bite back a howl. “Oi, gentle! I’m a delicate flower!”

“Yes, of course, you are, sir,” the medic said sarcastically, while cutting a bandage to fit. 

The Third poked her head in to see how the proceedings were going. To Renji’s utter amazement Byakuya asked her, “Third Seat, what say you? Would you prefer a Gotei soccer tournament or a futsal one?”

She blinked, and asked, “What’s futsal?”

“There’s your answer, Renji.” Byakuya said in a smug tone. Renji couldn’t believe how clearly into this whole thing Byakuya was getting. It made Renji break into a wide smile, despite the sting on his chin.

“Yeah, okay, Taicho. You win, already!” He laughed, raising his hands in surrender, “Soccer it is! I’ll start organizing tomorrow!”

“Finally,” Byakuya said as though long-suffering, but Renji could hear the amused undertone. “At last, we’ve uncovered something to busy those dangerously idle hands of yours.”


End file.
